The Happiness Game

I created The Happiness Game so people can see how to get the results they want in their lives. All of this is completely free, but if you're interested in one-on-one coaching, please book a call. First calls are free, even if that's just to get help working through a struggle using the The Happiness Game.

Once you understand the game, you can more successfully work to build a life you love by focusing on things like amazing relationships, physical health, financial security, and doing work you truly care about.

The Happiness Game

1. The Objective: Maximize life satisfaction.
2. The Cards:
   • ➤ Everything is a card. Your circumstances, body, environment, history, relationships, and inner experience (energy, emotions, assumptions, logic, etc.).
   • ➤ How Life Deals The Next Card: Your cards, other people's cards, and the world's cards together determine what happens next. The card you're dealt can be an action, feeling, or event, and it always makes sense based on your current cards. It's all cause and effect. Other people are doing what seems best to them, based on their cards, not yours.
     
     Here are a few examples:
     1. Current Card: "A poor night of sleep."
        Next: "Snoozed alarm."
        Next: "Was late for work."
        Next: "Feeling cranky."
     2. Current Card: "Weak tree."
        Next: "Wind gust."
        Next: "Damaged roof."
     3. Current Cards: "Social anxiety" AND "Wanting more friends."
        Next: "Started a chat with a neighbor."
3. The Obstacle: Disliking the cards we are dealt is harmful. It clouds thinking, leads to worse decisions, and makes it less likely we'll get what we want, further lowering life satisfaction.
   
   • ➤ Hard Mode: Needing things to turn out our way limits enjoyment because we won't always get what we want.
   • ➤ Misery Subscriptions: Things like grudges, resentment, and jealousy provide ongoing feelings that we dislike.
4. The Playing:
   • ➤ Utilizing D.A.D.
     • Dislike? - When you're dealt an uncomfortable feeling card, first check if you are disliking or resisting it.
     • Accept - Acknowledge that this feeling is the inevitable next card.
     • Decide - With a clearer mind, the next action is thought through more logically, and we're dealt a better decision card.
   • ➤ AlterAbility is our superpower. It's the ability to improve your future cards by learning.
   • ➤ Ignorance to Wisdom: Learning replaces ignorance cards with wisdom cards. As the hand becomes wiser, we're dealt better cards, improving the odds of getting what we want, which naturally increases life satisfaction.
     • Example: I overslept, and was late.
       "I'll wake up on time" gets replaced with "I should set an alarm."
   • ➤ Being wrong is an upgrade. Realizing a belief was off doesn't mean you failed; it means an ignorance card was replaced with a wisdom card, so that's a win! Each correction improves the odds of getting what you want next time.
   • ➤ An illustration:
     
     You see that your text was read, but now they're ignoring you. You start thinking they're mad at you, and you feel the urge to rage-text back.
     
     You recognize the rage as an inevitable feeling based on your cards, but an unhelpful one. You stop disliking what you're experiencing. Your mind becomes clearer, letting you think things through more logically. A decision card is dealt: you wait instead of reacting.
     
     Later, you learn they were tied up in a meeting, and you feel glad you handled it with a clearer mind. The “not getting a reply means they're mad” card gets replaced with a “not getting a reply can mean many things” card.
     
     Next time you're waiting on a reply, there's less frustration, clearer thinking, and a more enjoyable experience.

Maximizing Future Likes
ASPIRE to Build a Life You Love

• Affluential well-being: Financial Stability, Security, and Freedom
  • Starter emergency fund.
  • Frugal lifestyle.
  • Pay off debts.
• Spiritual well-being: Purpose and Presence. It's about job redesign, finding meaning, setting self-concordant goals, and leveraging personal strengths.
  • Lasting fulfillment comes from the pursuit of meaningful goals, not their attainment.
  • Meditation practice.
• Physical well-being:
  • Eat: Nutritious, whole foods. Stop when 80% full.
  • Move: 10,000 steps, "sitting is the new smoking", 30-min exercise 3x week
  • Sleep: 7-9 hours, nap, blue light, avoid eating a few hours before bed
  • Touch: We need hugs! We're wired for touch. It lowers cortisol and boosts oxytocin. Virginia Satir, one of the most important psychologists of our time, said, "We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth."
• Intellectual well-being:
  • Curiosity
  • Openness to new experiences
  • Deep learning
• Relational well-being: Connection and Kindness
  • Do you remember how you're the best version of yourself right now because you ALWAYS do what makes sense? Well, it's the same for everyone else, too! When both people in the relationship realize this, we start our perspectives with friendly curiosity rather than fighting.
• Emotional well-being: Dealing with Painful and Cultivating Pleasurable